Sunday, September 18, 2011

Recurring dreams

Every morning, I wake up with dreams still lingering in my head.  I can pretty much say that I can remember my dreams from the night before 99% of the time.  Some dreams last in my memory just  a little longer than others.  Like this one...

I'm in the house when the door bell rings.  I go open the door, and my dad is standing there with a wide grin.  Then I freeze.  I think to myself that it is just a dream, and I will wake up any second.  But somehow, I convince myself that this time it's for real.  The scenario varies by little each time this dream occurs.  Sometimes he appears in the house just randomly, doing normal things as if nothing has changed or happened.  And other times he comes from outside as if just returning from a business trip.  Life always resumes as usual, and mom doesn't act surprised like I do in my dreams.  But in the end of each dream, he is always preparing to leave again, but promises to be back soon.  Then the reality crashes back and I wake up.  More often than not though, my alarm wakes me up before he leaves and I always try to go back to sleep to try and catch him... but that never works.

I haven't dreamt of him in a while, until last night or this morning.  This time, the dream was different.

It's morning time, just an ordinary day.  He's talking to someone about business in one room, and I'm getting ready to head out in another.  For some reason I had to go to my neighbor's place, but when I get there, there are two wolves (yes, I know, random), one white, one black.  They were on a leash but weren't happy to see me.  The white one starts growling viciously at me and ran towards me, but the leash kept him from getting too close.  But the leash on the black one was longer, so when the black one came at me, I held out my hand in defense and he bit my thumb.  I go back to my house and tells my dad that I need to get a shot.  He looks at his schedule and says "I would take you now, but I have meetings all afternoon, so we need to go afterwards."  This time, I thought to myself, he's not coming back after those meetings, he'll vanish again.... and then I woke up.

I know that it's my subconsciousness that is generating these dreams.  It's because I still miss him, and feel like I need closure... but part of me really wish that there is an alternate universe where he is still with me and we are just living a normal life, and I have this special gift that allows me to see that alternate universe through my vivid dreams.  But of course, that's science fiction.

Dreaming is a mysterious phenomenon for me.  I'm not going all Freudian or anything, but I do believe that dream interpretation is a valid way to map a person's subconscious.  Of course, lets not forget that dreams are often meaningless, generated by nothing but random signals from neurons in the brain that project images in the sensory blah blah blah.... *yawn* For the sake of me feeling superior, I will believe that my dreams have special meanings.

Do you have any recurring dreams?  What are they?  What do you think they mean?!

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