Fresh Start eh?

First and foremost: HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

It's 2012, and look (!) we are still breathing.  Congrats to humans.

So I was MIA for the past 3 months or so.  I had good reasons: 1) I was caught up with work, 2) I was lazy, 3) I was caught up with life in general.

SO Here's a very shortened update on the life post-lsat:

• Started a gym membership at the local gym 2 miles from me, the HAC, stands for Hockessin Athletic Club. Fancy place includes a full service SPA!, expensive membership. I sometimes go in for just the sauna and shower to get the bang for my buck. 
• Went on a mini-vacation with a friend in Boston. Had a blast. Love the city. Nice young crowd and surprisingly clean and easy subway system. Will definitely go again. OH. and the LOBSTER ROLL!

• Took a little weekend trip by myself to NYC to visit some old friends. Awesome time as always. Got a taste of NYC life, a lot more chill than I expected. Wouldn't mind moving there for school.
• Spent a quiet and relaxing Thanksgiving all by myself while parents were out of town. 
• Hit a few bars/clubs with my G-crew.  What happens in a bar, stay in a bar. 'Nuff said.
• Had some quality fam time at Christmas. Got some awesome gifts. One includes a David Yurman ;) (yes. I am sometimes spoiled)
• Had an awesome NYE with my girls.  Eating. Drinking. Talking. Dancing. Welcomed 2012 with lots of laughter and love.  
• Also as part of my Xmas present, I got 6-week personal training program at the HAC.  Started today. One word: INTENSE.  I almost passed out at one point because my blood sugar and pressure got really low.  But it was overall a success.  I love my trainer, and I like the burn. 

That pretty much sums it up.

I know people always come up with new year resolutions and all, but I have never listed any resolution in the past.  I'm not one who sticks with the to-do list, so I figured it's pointless to list a bunch of things that I'll probably never get to anyway.  Well, 2012, you are different.  I will actually make a list right now and see where it gets me.  Of course, since it's my first time, I will probably go easy and be realistic.

1. Do everything on this list.
2. Be nicer, more patient, more tolerant.. give those people who cross me at least 1 chance to redeem themselves before unleashing my inner b*tch.
3. Be more active.  Continue with the workout even after my 6-wk intense training. 
4. Eat healthier.  I've never intentionally watched what I eat all my life. My metabolism has been blessed enough to take on any fatty, grease-soaked food I allow myself, but that's all gonna change! 
5. Develop a better sleep schedule/habit.  
6. Smile more at people.  Making others smile will be good for the soul, I always say. 
7. Be more productive with my days.  Organize my things so I know exactly what I need to do, when I need to do them. 
8. Take the exams and become certified interpreter for the Delaware courts. 
9. Pay more attention to my personal finances. 
10. Start dating again. lol.  (I couldn't think of any thing else) 

Per #5. I shall retire now and try to get some much needed rest.  It won't be hard to fall asleep tonight... 

*Notice I didn't list "keeping up with the blog" as a resolution... because I know it's probably an unrealistic goal.  But I will try my best (for all but maybe 2 readers out there ;)).

Until Next Time. 

Here's a pic of that Delicious Lobster Roll from Quincy Market in Bahhhhston for you to drool over.

Big Day..

Tomorrow is the big day...

It's Do or DIE!!

Ok, maybe not that dramatic, but it is a really big deal.  So whoever is out there reading this almost-meaningless, barely-there blog, WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!  

Recurring dreams

Every morning, I wake up with dreams still lingering in my head.  I can pretty much say that I can remember my dreams from the night before 99% of the time.  Some dreams last in my memory just  a little longer than others.  Like this one...

I'm in the house when the door bell rings.  I go open the door, and my dad is standing there with a wide grin.  Then I freeze.  I think to myself that it is just a dream, and I will wake up any second.  But somehow, I convince myself that this time it's for real.  The scenario varies by little each time this dream occurs.  Sometimes he appears in the house just randomly, doing normal things as if nothing has changed or happened.  And other times he comes from outside as if just returning from a business trip.  Life always resumes as usual, and mom doesn't act surprised like I do in my dreams.  But in the end of each dream, he is always preparing to leave again, but promises to be back soon.  Then the reality crashes back and I wake up.  More often than not though, my alarm wakes me up before he leaves and I always try to go back to sleep to try and catch him... but that never works.

I haven't dreamt of him in a while, until last night or this morning.  This time, the dream was different.

It's morning time, just an ordinary day.  He's talking to someone about business in one room, and I'm getting ready to head out in another.  For some reason I had to go to my neighbor's place, but when I get there, there are two wolves (yes, I know, random), one white, one black.  They were on a leash but weren't happy to see me.  The white one starts growling viciously at me and ran towards me, but the leash kept him from getting too close.  But the leash on the black one was longer, so when the black one came at me, I held out my hand in defense and he bit my thumb.  I go back to my house and tells my dad that I need to get a shot.  He looks at his schedule and says "I would take you now, but I have meetings all afternoon, so we need to go afterwards."  This time, I thought to myself, he's not coming back after those meetings, he'll vanish again.... and then I woke up.

I know that it's my subconsciousness that is generating these dreams.  It's because I still miss him, and feel like I need closure... but part of me really wish that there is an alternate universe where he is still with me and we are just living a normal life, and I have this special gift that allows me to see that alternate universe through my vivid dreams.  But of course, that's science fiction.

Dreaming is a mysterious phenomenon for me.  I'm not going all Freudian or anything, but I do believe that dream interpretation is a valid way to map a person's subconscious.  Of course, lets not forget that dreams are often meaningless, generated by nothing but random signals from neurons in the brain that project images in the sensory blah blah blah.... *yawn* For the sake of me feeling superior, I will believe that my dreams have special meanings.

Do you have any recurring dreams?  What are they?  What do you think they mean?!

Dedicated to the Dolphins

Dear My Loving People of the World,

I urge you all to watch this documentary "The Cove".  Never have I ever seen anything so depressing.  It's the kind of depression that makes one want to get up and kill someone.

Let me start by briefly explain what the movie is about for those who hasn't seen it.  Basically this guy Rick O'Barry, former animal trainer who trained all the dolphins for the TV series Flipper, had an epiphany when one of his dolphins became depressed and died in his arms.  After retiring from the business, he became an animal rights activist, prominently speaking out against aquatic animal captivity and their killings.  He and other activist filmmakers were in Taiji, Japan, a small town whose local economy is mainly dependent upon dolphin hunting.  To get footages of these cruel dolphin slaughtering activities, Rick and his cameramen had to disguise themselves in broad daylight, be confronted by angry Japanese fishermen with their "personal space" issues, and all the while try not to get arrested.  

The film shows how these supposedly human-beings are killing the dolphins by cornering them into the cove and stabbing them one by one.  Most dolphins do not die instantly so you can see them struggle in the water while bleeding to death.  The water in the surrounding area quickly darkens by the blood, it's a literal depiction of the "red sea".  One would think the reason why tens of thousands of dolphins are slaughtered is because of it's in high demand.  But it's actually not that simple.  Dolphin meat is VERY high in mercury content, and therefore not a desirable commodity.  However, in some markets, it is labeled as whale meat to be more appealing.  The government conspires with fishery agencies to cover up the whole thing.  Most of the population in Japan is not even aware of what is happening in Taiji.  It's absolutely sickening to even imagine the level of corruption that is going on behind the scenes. But parts of it is shown in the film.

As I was watching this, hearing the dolphins scream as they were rounded up and killed, I thought to myself: do these people have no humanity at all?  In the film, you see these fishermen step onto these half-died dolphins like they're nothing and they laugh at these Americans, they think it's perfectly okay what they're doing.  I get that to some people, an animal is an animal.  They can't associate themselves with animals who can't talk back.  But the way these fishermen are so protective of their "privacy", not letting these filmmakers get an inch closer proves that in some level, they know what they are doing is wrong and would be disapproved by millions if exposed.  

I don't know, maybe I'm too emotionally biased because I think dolphins are beautiful and intelligent creatures.  When I see normal fishermen throwing around tilapias on a boat, I have no other reaction besides "oh that looks fresh"..  But seeing the dolphins flap around wounded with a trail of blood around it just made it that much harder not to be affected.  

It's definitely a film worth seeing.  If you have Netflix, it's in the Instant Queue, and if you don't, you can find all the parts on Youtube: 

And for those who want to make a difference, go to www.takepart.com/cove.  

One last thing.

For those fishermen, I think they deserve to be hanged, but taken down alive, have their private parts cut off, their arms cut off and burned right in front of their lively little Japanese eyes, then burn them alive. 

Sorry for the imagery, but I had a whole hour while watching the film to think of the torturous way of them to be finished off.  Some people deserve worse than death alone. 

Sincerely, 

Me

It's late, I just finished a full-length LSAT practice test and I'm beat. But I wanted to update even though no one is reading (it's probably better this way anyway).

My mind wonders during the day due to lack of work assignments, but I still have to pretend to look like I'm busy in the office so they don't fire me... ya know how that goes.  My boss was nice enough to let me have Wednesdays off until my test day, as long as I work enough during other days to make 40-hr work week.  So it's been REALLY tough trying to fill the hours.  By tough I mean I have to constantly get up and walk around and pretend that I'm going to important places doing important things; I always have to have papers scattered on my desk to look like I'm actually doing stuff; I have to be careful not to get caught going on social networking sites; basically just a lot of acting.  Some people may say "hey, what are you complaining about? you get paid for doing nothing!" uhhhh, it ain't that easy.  They obviously have no idea how hard it is to watch a youtube video without watching it.

Anyhoo... back on track.  So when my mind wonders, I think about a lot of life decision related things... like what should my step in life be? Get a new job? Get a boyfriend? Get a dog? What??!?  And there are the Q's like "what do I really want?" As I thought about all this, I came to the conclusion that I really haven't worked hard on any thing in my life.  Everything has been pretty much handed to me.  I've never had real obstacles.  So maybe that's why I've never really appreciated the things I do have.  There's a Chinese proverb, which basically translates to "All good things are hard to come by".  By "all good things", it means things that bring the most joy in life and are irreplaceable.  So I think to myself (in LSAT formal logic terms OF COURSE) that since most of the things I have now were all very easily obtained, they must not be life's treasures.  I don't know why, but it just motivates me to actually put in a little bit more work than before towards achieving my next goal: kicking stupid lsat in the rear.

Of course, other great motivators include: future traveling plans, paid vacations, finally being able to see my beloved friends, eat out, get a new car (cross my fingers and hoping mommy dearest would help me in the finance department), and most importantly NEVER THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT AGAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

So here's to me sucking it up for the next three weeks.  I may bitch and moan, but it'll all be temporary!

Remembering September 11, 2001

I had just been in this country for about a month at the time.  Most of my classes in the morning were ESL (English as Second Language) classes.  Since school had only been in session for about a week, I really hadn't learned much.  I could vaguely remember some frantic whispering in the hallways as we were being led to the cafeteria.  I was thinking to myself why were we going to the cafeteria so early in the morning? It's not even lunch time yet.  Then I spotted the only people I knew in the school, some Chinese kids, and went to them.  They pointed to the TV and said there was some kind of attack in New York City.  I had never been to NYC and the only things I've ever heard about the city was from some Chinese-American movies, which didn't show the Twin Towers, so my knowledge of them or about them was next to zero.  All I remember was seeing two really tall buildings in smoke.  I couldn't grasp the seriousness of the situation or what it meant.  I thought it was an accident.  I'm sure the word "terrorist" was being said multiple times but there was no way that I could understand it.  The only information I could gather from the people around me was that we were being sent home early.  To this day, I still can't remember what I was feeling.  Was I scared? Was I confused?  I must have been confused since I didn't understand a word people were saying.  But I honestly do not have any recollection of what I was feeling at all.  I didn't know why some kids were crying.  And I didn't know why we were being sent home.  There was no one to translate for me, everyone was busy with their own emotions, so I just went with the flow.

I got home and my mom hadn't left for work yet.  She was watching TV and calling her friends on the phone.  She told me someone called her and said the Twin Towers had been hit by planes and soon after, they collapsed.  She said she thought it was happening in a movie since there was a movie years ago with similar scenario, but her friend assured her it was all very real.  Then she started saying how shameful it was to have such a huge loss.... I still didn't understand what it meant.  Thinking back now, I feel like an idiot.  How could I not know what the World Trade Center was??

A few months after the event, we went to NYC to visit family friends and the ground zero was just opened for public viewing.  As I watched crowds of people putting down teddy bears and writing notes on the boards, I finally felt the overwhelming feeling of loss.  I don't know how or why, but I felt what others were feeling..  sadness.  I didn't know anyone who died there, but I felt connected to the people who lost their loved ones.  Each person who lost their lives that day was someone's father, son, daughter, mother, friend... We all lost someone we love unexpectedly and violently in the hands of killers with no remorse or humanity.  All the feelings that I didn't feel on the actual day of the attack came rushing down on me and I just broke down.

One thing I know I would never understand is how could anyone do such a thing... I know we have a label for those people: terrorists.  But were they just born without any humanity?  What kind of religious belief would drive someone to kill thousands of people and still feeling justified doing so?

I'm sure as the world come together to remember this tragic day, there will be plenty of stories from survivors and close-by speculators of the event.  Some may feel the guilt that they survived and others didn't, but we all just have to remember that what happened is in the past.  We cannot bring back the dead, but we can live for them.  Live your life to the fullest, if not for yourself then for those who sacrificed theirs for you.

My Saturday morning exercise.. brain exercises

Only 3 more weeks!!!  I'm anxious, nervous, scared, so I'm definitely not ready. But I also can't wait to get this thing over with!  I've already come up with a list of fun things to do with my friends after the "big day" to get me motivated, let's just say that we have to spread out the activities over several weekends.. :D 

A few things sparkled in my mind in the past few days that are worth mentioning, but I'll only talk about one right now...

I've always been told to never be dependent on others for money.  If I want something, I work for it and get it myself.  Simple right?  It's not so easy when the things I want cost many times more than what I can make hahaa... but that's beside the point.  Over the past 2 years, I've seen a lot of ... say privileged kids from China.  The ones from my home town were mostly my dad's old business acquaintances's sons and daughters.  I admit, it wasn't easy being with them knowing that I could've had what they have, a happy family and bank load of cash to spend.  But after getting to know them, I'm glad to be just the way I am.  For one, I am not completely dependent on my family's money.  Maybe it's because I grew up in America, where majority of the people still value a honest paycheck.  These kids have never worked a day in their lives and still feel entitled to have the world.  Yes, they are rich, and their families can actually afford anything they want, but why don't they want something better?  Something that may have more meaning than just throwing thousands of dollars on a bag that will only be used once?  I make no apology for judging their frivolous spending.  It's not a philosophical matter of "how do you know their values aren't as good as yours?" bullshit.  It's a matter of having any values at all.  

I've made my point clear to these kids that I think they have no real substance or worth to this world, nor will they ever be successful (I'm just that blunt). And their response?? "Well, I'm the only heir so when my parents are gone, all the money will just go to me anyway, so what's theirs is mine" and "why should I work so hard when I don't need to?"  I was speechless.  This is what the next generation of China looks like.  I don't think America has anything to worry about right now... as long as you continue to teach your kids to work for a living, you're golden.  Oh, also, maybe plug some stores from Fifth Ave to every major city in China, and your economy will be saved in a year, tops.

Just to think what might or actually will happen to these kids when they grow older?  They obviously aren't looking into getting their own jobs, or have any goals of achieving something in their lives, unless you call finally getting the exclusive Birkin bag from Hermes is a worthy goal, then these are your over-achievers.  I personally think it'll take nothing short of a miracle for these kids to want to do something on their own.  

As I always say, everything happens for a reason.  I was just never meant to be disgustingly rich because my personality will probably not go well with it.  And some people are just never meant to do anything with their lives. It all balances out. hahaa