Life is just a basket full of possibilities

Confession: there were times when I could have posted and wrote something meaningful but was just too darn lazy.

This month marks my TENTH anniversary since stepping onto American soil.  10 years.  At first, agonizing, then it became "home", comfortable, the "place I'd rather be".  It's strange how a person can acclimate to a completely different culture and environment.  It's more strange how a single event can change a person's, or should I say people's lives forever.  My dad's passing gave me this life.  Not to get sentimental here or anything, but not a single day goes by without me thinking what would've been different if he was still here.  I've heard people say "things happen for a reason". Maybe.  But someone else brought a different prospective, he said "it's how we act accordingly (to events happened) that make us think whatever happened did happen for a reason."  It's a lot of twist and turns, but it makes sense if you think about it.

For me, life is just a big pot of opportunities, possibilities, and surprises.  You never know what's going to happen next, that's the beauty of it all.  What's the point of having everything planned out in life?  Something will happen and change the course of that plan, and then what?  Make new plans?  Why don't we all just let it play out and see what happens?   It may sound like a lazy person's way of thinking, but doesn't it just sound more.... lively?  Maybe this is why I'm not a top rank Harvard graduate, because we all know THOSE people had their every step of their successful lives planned to the T.  In all reality, I think I would be a miserable beeotch if I were really an Ivy Leaguer.

10 years ago, I would've never imagined that I would still be living in this tax-free state.  Hell, I didn't even think I'd still be in the country.  Before I came here, when my friends from middle school asked how long I was coming for, I said I'd be back in a month, before school started.  And BAM. I stayed for 6 years before I stepped on China soil again.
I never thought my English would ever be good enough, and yet people say I don't have any accent.  I can't even fake a Chinese accent if I wanted to, it just comes out like I'm trying to speak slowly.  There were so many things I never thought I would have, and I have them all.  So I guess what I'm trying to say is, we never know what life will bring us, there's no guarantee that everything will be good, but we should count everything as a blessing in disguise.

That concludes today's report.  I will try to do better next time.

thinking thoughts

So I've been spending a lot of time with our family friends over the past two weeks trying to help their daughter settle in, taking the parents out shopping, and getting all the essential services set up.  I've come to realize a few things recently.  One thing for sure is that I don't wish to have their lives or money if I could.  This wasn't the first time I've had to help some wealthy family friends move to this country, most of them were my dad's old business associates.  I have no doubt that if my dad was still here, we would be well off like most of his old partners are now, but I'm not so sure that it would be a good thing.  I'm not saying that it wouldn't be nice to spend thousands without hesitation, but something just feels off.  Having money has its own downside.  You would think that rich people would be capable of a lot more things than us plain folks, but they are also lacking a lot of other qualities in life, ones that money cannot buy.  It's hard to get into details because they are so many, but a few simple ones like compassion, understanding, loyalty, independence are all among the things they could definitely improve on.  There are certain things that people think they are entitled to, both for the wealthy and poor.  Poor people think they deserve help from others, and the wealthy think they deserve to be served.  Maybe I'm generalizing too much and being a bit harsh, but what's what it seems to me.

In a sad way, I'm glad how my life has turned out.  A lot of people say I've experienced too much "life" already at an young age, especially the kind of "life" that no one wants experience.  But that has thought me lessons that I will always treasure.  It's made me a strong person, capable of things that I would otherwise never dare to do.  And yes, it came with a greater price.  That is something I can't change, and can only accept as part of a master plan by the super(wo)man upstairs.  I believe in everything happens for a reason.  In a way, I also see it as me being saved from a wasteful and useless life, because the person I am today care more about thousand dollar shoes.  I don't want to bash anyone's lifestyle or beliefs but I just know now more than ever that I love how my life has turned out, considering the circumstances.